One of my favourite things to do is to sit with my coffee near a window and write. I am pretty sure a lot of you can relate to me. I often get distracted by something as little as a bird flying by, but not this time. Today, I feel like writing about my journey of transformation. The intent of this blog is not to tell you the 10 best ways to pray.. actually that would be super funny. However, I do want you to be a part of my transformation journey and maybe we can do it together. I have been thinking about it for quite some time but just like that, all of a sudden, it just felt right. I probably have to write a book if I were to note down everything but for now one blog at a time.

I am recently starting to understand the real benefits of prayers. I have been very good at praying to God for what I need or want, and patiently and lovingly, he has always answered my prayers. I can hardly think of a time when I felt that God did not answer my prayers. On the contrary, I did feel like, thank god my prayers were not answered. I am a happy girl. For the things that I have done, I am glad I had someone to bring me out of the mess. At the specific moment, not everything seemed cool. However, looking back I realise the destruction it would have caused in my life if things had worked out the way I had imagined or wanted. Literally Thank god!

I thought I will go on a little journey of adventure, since you know I love experiments to make my life better. Since things have often worked out the way I wanted, what if I did more? – I have a scary dream, and I absolutely am sure “I” can’t achieve it, thinking it’s all me. The dream that I will tell you about later needs supernatural intervention.

So, I prayed. I was not expecting anything but my curiosities calming down slowly. My head was spinning all day long and it needed some rest. That was all!

Then things started… the difference was striking. Earlier, I used to pray when I needed something, but it was different this time around. I was praying because I had nothing to ask for. I did not come up with a single word or phrase. I was just there.. in the presence of God. I wanted to demand desperately but the words would not come out. I waited and I tried again but it did not change. I just felt peace come upon me and now my mind was moving in slow motion. I felt every thought. I saw myself at a serene place…My happy place – the green garden with a little stream flowing in between the trees. I saw my house in the background and the mountains beyond that. I saw the birds flying in the blue sky. I saw a dragon fly and many butterflies hovering around. It was real and I was in peace. Then I saw a vision of God as I imagined him. I saw the light, the glory and the entire sky changed.

And then reality happened, and I woke up from the deep slumber of my meditative state, and there I was still holding my cup of coffee.. I took a sip. I felt lost, as though I had woken up from hours of sleep. I was numb and felt weak and strong at the same time. I felt happy and disappointed at the same time.

It was a funny thought of disappointment – why? because I did not ask for anything – remember that is what I was used to.. my vested interest at all times. The reason I say thought is because while my mind was disappointed, my heart was full of joy. I was happy and I was whole like I had never felt before.

Being a process-oriented person, I started to analyse and realized that I had started with gratefulness. When our heart is grateful, everything around becomes beautiful. I felt like I had everything I needed at that point in time and that was a game-changer. I had been practicing being grateful for quite some time now not realizing that now it was seeping in deeper into my being.

I felt an urge to be… just be, but I also know the worldly things were waiting.. gotta go now but I know I will be back.. starting to feel the addiction.

Until next time – Urmi